My son turned 22 years old Today and as usual, with all three of my kids, I tend to often get very emotional thinking about how each of them have impacted my life greatly, followed with thoughts of all that they’ve overcome and accomplished within the short years of their lives. My Son is truly remarkable. I often times sit in awe over who he is, his amazing characteristics and his brilliant mind. If you’ve ever held a conversation with him, you’d be shocked by the things that he holds deep within his personal knowledge base. After all, he was the History Major before I became one.
Last year, he decided to take a semester off from school to regroup. His senior year was completely trashed due to the “panorama”, so early years of College strained him in many ways. This decision, as with many, were supported by me but it was met with harsh criticism from someone that I’ve had to create a healthy and strong boundary with: My Father. I’ve previously spoken about the verbal transaction before and how I am currently going no contact with him due to several reasons, including the conversations that were centered around my sons decision.
This is also the linked convos in which he told my son that he didn’t want to be failure like “Kesha” (his exact words.)
With any message that I share, I always feel the need to preface it with the actions, words or events that encourage this message.
How often have any of us dealt with others criticism over the things we pursue within our lives or over the mistakes we may make? There is a drastic difference between constructive criticism and just downright criticism. You may encounter people who are completely judgmental, with little ability to give praise when it is due. You may also encounter people who may try to force their beliefs onto you, for whatever their reason may be.
With my son, his Grandfathers fears were of him becoming lazy, not returning to college and leading a struggling life. Two out of the three factors are related to my own lifes hardships. The difference between my sons life experience and my own is that he has a very tight knit support system, a Mother who will go to the ends of the earth to ensure that he “makes it” and our relationship has always been very close. he is more than equipped to continue to thrive in the way that fits him best.
There is no one cookie cutter way to reach your goals. If you are human, you will encounter times where you’ll need to take a step back; to breathe, reaccess and then move forward. My son saw that he needed a moment to breathe and he was welcomed with the opportunity to do so, with my support because…I know my child. I know that given this free moment, that it will do great for his mental health, his overall wellness and clear up any cloudiness that may have gotten in the way of his clear focus.
It is important that we continue to be stewards over our boundaries, our lives and do what is needed to keep outside noise to minimum. We are not always going to get it right. Those moments of seeming weakness are always tools to use once you dust yourself off and keep moving forward. Our individuality is what makes this life journey so remarkable. We all have something unique to us, to give and share with the world. Our paths will be extremely different and that is how it is supposed to be. Yes, we are living within a detrimental capitalistic society that affects our ability to thrive amongst systems set to only allow us to survive. But thriving does not have one singular path. There are many paths to doing so.
My sons return back to school was complete until mishaps, due to his college, occurred back in January. This got him down bad very briefly but he, being the amazing brilliant young man that he is, developed a plan and executed it. I completed his FAFSA last week and he is set to return to school this Fall. You see what I mean? On his time, with the support of myself and his overall support system.
Be mindful of the outside critics.
Live your life for you.
Lean onto your support systems.
And always dare to dream bigger than societal driven paths that you were never meant to conform to.
xo,
Kesh
Today, I declare that my alignment does not mirror another path. The route I am to take is unique to me. The divine has made it so.
Ase. Amen. It has been said.
Happy 22nd Birthday to my incredible Son.
You encouraged my return back to school.
You listen to all of my ideas.
You helped me rename my company to Noire Phoenixx.
You share our in home Library.
You share my love for mythology and history.
You are the Light in any dark and gloomy room.
I Love You.